Naruto or is it Wade?
by GamesRMine
Summary: History is doomed to repeat itself unless it is remembered….But can an entire world reset itself back by going….forward? When key people are….reborn, can a world change into something that only True Believers can believe? Naruto/Marvel/Deadpool crossover.
1. Chapter 1

A ten year old Naruto was wandering the village aimlessly when he saw something which made him pause in surprise- a man with an emotionless face. He stood watching the man for a moment, waiting in vain for an expression to pass his face. The man took a step forward then said, "Hello Naruto. My name is Danzo." The man then paused and studied Naruto's face a while before continuing. "What would you do for respect?"

Naruto at first laughed, then seeing the man was serious, his eyes narrowed, and he looked the man over carefully before replying "Anything."

The man smirked and raised his eyebrows. "Naruto, if you come with me and meet my…. friends, I can guarantee that you will become the greatest ninja that the world has ever seen and all the respect will be for you." As he spoke, he held out his hand to Naruto. Naruto at first leaned away, but as he thought about it, temptation grew. To have the respect of all was a powerful inducement. He frowned, then before he could think about it any further, he grabbed the hand and was lead off by Danzo.

After walking for a while, they finally reached an rundown, abandoned laboratory. Naruto looked at Danzo, questioning their destination wordlessly. "Inside is where the…. cool stuff is and where you will get stronger." Naruto seemed satisfied with that answer and after looking it over a moment longer, he strode confidently towards the doors and entered the building.

Danzo watched the boy go inside with a small smile on his lips. "I will have my new weapon, after the experiential division of ROOT makes it." Danzo snapped is figures and instantly two ROOT Ninjas appeared on either side of him. "Put this note in Naruto's apartment " Danzo ordered , "along with all the snakes you can find in the next forty minutes." After all he thought, all he had to do was to make it look like Orochimaru had taken Naruto. Once again, Danzo went back to studying the lab doors- thinking about the boy that had gone through. He knew that despite Naruto's procedures he would never be a ROOT ninja- simply because he knew what type of boy Naruto was. Danzo already had a plan to get the fox out and seal it into a more moldable host. Danzo turned and walked back to his home knowing that Naruto will give insightful….experiments.

Naruto was having second thoughts. As soon as he entered the place, he had been ambushed and thrown into a cell. "Hey kid, over here." Naruto heard a faint, scratchy voice and turned to the cell next to him. Inside there was a man with numerous visible scars all over his desiccated body. "I don't think I will live past today kid….but you will. I have hidden some of their weapons and a suit that they tested …don't ask how I got them…but I hid them in my cell under the floor….you can use them, but I…messed up and the lock I have on it will not open for three months" The man's voice faded and died, then he roused himself once more. "I know they will experiment on you, but please remember my name- you may be the only one who does." Again, the man's voice trailed off as he gasped for air. He turned his head towards Naruto one last time. "My name is Wade Wilson." the man gasped the words out before falling into a choking fit that ended with him passing out.

Naruto stared hard at the man's face and vowed to himself to always remember the name Wade Wilson. He felt a strange sense of himself in the man's face- perhaps a vision of his future he thought before shrugging off the negative thought. He was staring so hard at the man that he almost didn't notice the two men in lab coats walking up to his cell. They opened the door with a "Time to go, boy." They then grabbed Naruto's arms, dragging him out of the cell and down a corridor.

Naruto was dragged past some guards putting money down on a table. They were laughing. "What are they doing?" Naruto spoke in a meek tone as he only had enough courage to satisfy his curiosity.

One of the men looked down at Naruto a moment before replying "They're betting the dead pool." Seeing his confusion, he explained. "You see, they bet on who lives the longest…that was you they were betting on just now."

The men finally seemed to reach their destination- at least they stopped dragging him. Moving methodically, they striped Naruto down to his underwear, then put him on a cold metal table. One of the men turned to a video camera (1) before speaking clearly. "Beginning experiment weapon IV as a part of the Weapon X project." Then the man turned and grabbed a bunch of needles with wires and tubes attached to them. "This will hurt a lot." the man said very calmly as if it were just a normal fact….but after that all Naruto knew was pain.

Three weeks later…

Naruto was in his cell with no one else around. The cell next to his was empty. He was wearing only a worn pair of underwear. Naruto's skin had numerous visible scars on it and they were all over his body. "Well, looks like we are in for another lonely night." said the voice in Naruto's head that he had named V1.

"But we have each other to help us right?" a different voice spoke out in Naruto's head. He had named this one V2. "Seriously, you named me V2? What the hell man? I thought we were more imaginative than that!"

Naruto rolled his eyes, then spoke to them out loud. "Well, I think we ARE imaginative for someone that has been an experiment for the last three weeks…. enchilada…. Damn it! Why am I thinking random shit."

"Well I think that something happened to our brain….and why are you talking out loud?" V1 asked. "People will think you are crazy…" V1 paused, seeming to consider his statement. "Well, more crazy anyway." he continued as the voice was trying to think of anything about their condition.

V2 was troubled and voiced his concern. "Well, if we talk out loud won't other people know what we are planning?" V2 asked.

"Hey it is either this or we go though pain… rubber ducks… DAMN IT!" Naruto shouted out the last part.

Five weeks since the first experiment…

Naruto was talking with the voices in his head- unfortunately it was loud enough to attract the same two men from before. Naruto had discovered one of their names was Killbrew. He was the man with blonde hair. "Killbrew." he whispered silently to himself, trying to hold on to the information.

"Well, seems that someone is ready for another experiment." the one not named Killbrew said as he opened the cell door. Both men grabbed Naruto's arms and started the familiar drag towards the experimentation room.

As the trio passed the dead pool betting table, Naruto noticed that there were three new guards around it. "Hey brat!" one of the men yelled. "So far the bet is not stacked in your favor." The guards began laughing at Naruto as they resumed dragging him.

They finally made it to the experimentation room. The men then put Naruto on a metal table that was stood up right. The table was partially encased in a glass tube. Moving swiftly, the guards strapped him in. "This is something new we came up with. It will enhance your healing factor to an unheard of level. We have used it on some experiments before…only four made it, so…let's test it out." The man chuckled as he closed the doors and let the tube fill with liquid. He then flipped a switch and Naruto was suddenly in pain as the liquid swirled around him. He felt new scars searing into his skin all over his body- some crisscrossing with older scars. The experiment went on for hours. Just as he was passing out from the pain, the guards appeared, then they dragged him and threw him in his cell yet again. Naruto passed out into blissful oblivion.

Naruto woke and looked around his cell before speaking. "Hey V1 and V2, do you guys remember my name?" Naruto asked out this out loud as he had suddenly realized that did not know his name. This made him vaguely uneasy (he was still dizzy from residual pain).

"Hmm…I got nothing." V1 said

"Hey, I think I know it- Wade Wilson." V2 said with enthusiasm.

Naruto seemed to think about it for a moment. That name did sound familiar, he thought. "Yeah, I guess you're right…..Wade Wilson is my name…" he thought some more, then continued. "But you can call me Big Wade, Big Wilson, Dead Hand Wade….Damn!" Naruto, or should we say Wade, cursed as he realized that he had yet again spoken with random words thrown in.

A few days later a three guard comes up to his cell and opened the cell door. "Congratulations experiment. You have been promoted to experiment/weapon… we will begin your training." After the first day of training Wade wished he had stayed an experiment.

Three months since first experiment…

Wade was digging in the cell next to him which he remembered was supposed to have weapons there after three months. His skin was just a mass of scars, but he now was near impossible to kill- hell he even grew back limbs. His once blonde hair was all gone and if it grew at all, it grew in patches- which he decided just to remove. Wade found a black box under some dirt. Ripping off the top, he found two katanas along with a back strap and several knives. Removing the weapons one by one, he admired the workmanship. Underneath the weapons was a red and black suit (2) that seemed to have white eye spots in the mask. Wade donned the suit and drew the katanas while arming the rest of the weapons on his person.

"I hope they have some of those gun things that guy Stark invented. Also I want Nachos." Wade felt slightly annoyed that he still could not get serious or shut up…that had gotten him in trouble with more then one of his trainers 'til they realized he would never shut up and didn't seem to have any control over it. That's when they started calling him the Merc with a Mouth. Wade smirked as he remembered the first time they had called him that…incidentally that was also the time that he had the worst experiment of his time that day….he felt so helpless then. But that was then and this was now.

"This time the Lone Ranger Rides Again….with advanced weapons and a cool suit!" Wade shouted out loud as he used his katanas to cut though the bars and jump out. "Here's Freddy!" Wade shouted as he struck a combat stance in the hallway.

When nothing happened for a few minutes, Wade looks around only seeing dead Root Ninja's and claw marks on the wall each with three parallel lines. "You mean I wasted all those cult movie/tv references and…only I am here to enjoy my genius….NOOOOO!" Wade shouted the last part as he fell to his knees.

"Are you forgetting us?" V1 shouted out in rage at apparently being forgotten.

"Dude, we are just voices in his head after all…his only confidant and friends over the months….You are a jerk for forgetting us." V2 said in a hurt voice.

Wade looked up and then spoke out loud. "I am...so.. Soek….ssssooorrrryyyy…Glad that he had that out of the way, Wade continued. "Now, on to the part were I randomly explore and try to find something useful…that may or may not be a plot device." Wade spoke into the silence of the room, then realized something. "Okay, I may be crazy, but why the hell would I mention a plot device? This is not a fan fiction story after all!" Wade paused as he thought of something else. "If this were a fan fiction story…. let's hope it is at least well written and better than… what was in? Oh yeah, Wolverine Origins." Wade then stopped his train of delusional thoughts there for a second. "What the hell is Wolverine Origins anyway and why did I compare myself to the origins of a large member of the weasel family?" Wade thought for a moment longer, then shrugged as he came up with nothing.

V1 then decided to pipe in. "Why are we stuck with you again? I am sure there are more appreciative people who want a good set of voices….in their heads"

"But we can't leave!" an angry V2 pouted. "We're stuck with this idiot for whatever sadistic reason."

Wade shouted out an indignant 'Hey!' in response.

Wade then began to wander around the base- or what was left of it, for there were claw marks on the walls that either came in a set of three or five. Walls not clawed were smashed down by what looked like feet of massive size and strength. "Hell, the steel door has fist impressions the size of my chest!" Wade said out loud though no one was around except for the voices in his head. He paused as he saw something out of the corner of his eye- it was a pile of wooden boxes, but that was not what made it special. No, what made it special was the ordinary white paint on the sides of the boxes that spelled out 'Stark Industries'.

"I must have been really GOOD in a past life, because this is early Christmas!" Wade exclaimed with delight. Then Wade entered what he called Pool O Vision (or in laymen's terms seeing things that are not there).

Santa was sitting on the box of weapons with a hot busty blond elf chick in a red bikini standing next to him. "Come Wade my boy….You have been a very good boy this year." Santa said making Wade squeal like a school girl before rushing over and hopping onto Santa's lap.

"Ohhhhhh Santa, I love you." Wade said as he hugged Santa. To everyone else in the world it just looked like he hugged a upright create of volatile high explosions.

Wade then saw Santa fade away. In Santa's place there was a box of high explosives. "I really need to get help figuring out my mind….." Wade's words trailed off as he started to dig though the weapons. What he found was two machine gun pistols along with a assault rife, plus several high explosives and a two 9mm pistol. "Who cares if I can't take anything seriously…I have a lot of freakin' guns!" Wade shouted while hopping up and down with alternating legs….it looked like a happy version of a little kid's paddy dance.

After his weapons find and happy dance, Wade let his curiosity get the better of him as he started to search for clues about what had happened. There were large parts of his memory that seemed to be missing and he was vaguely aware that his babbling and hallucinations were not normal. Wade found what appeared to be a control room. It had a large video section. Snooping through the titles, he saw they were all marked with dates and experiment numbers. Realizing that these might be about the experiments that took place on him, he grabbed as many as he could carry- making sure that he at least grabbed all the ones carrying his own number.

"Well, let's see what the Weapon X Easter Bunny brought me." Wade said as he let out a small chuckle. Wade put the first tape in the recorder and plopped himself down in a nearby chair to watch it. "You know popcorn flavored ramen would be really good right now." Wade spoke out loud to the voices in his head.

"Are you nuts? V! spoke as thought scolding a small child. "Tacos are the way to go!"

"You go girlfriend." V2 sing-songed, adding his agreement.

"No Ra…Wait, I just got another genius thought! What about BOTH popcorn flavored ramen AND tacos." Wade announced smugly, an imagined light bulb appearing above his head.

"It is brilliant!" V1 shouted in agreement.

"No, it's Deadpool!" V2 spoke in an even tone.

Wade's forehead wrinkled in confusion. "Hold up! Where did Deadpool come from?" he asked as he paused the video at the beginning.

"Well, I noticed that we are the only one without a code name. I mean look at this- Wolverine, Saberthooth, Mystique, the White Queen and Hulk. We're the only one without a cool name." V2 justified its answer.

Wade thought about it before smiling wide enough that it was visible though his mask. "That's right! I should use that name- after all it would make us sound twice as badass…. Sorta like Bond, James Bond." Wade giggled to himself as he pressed play on the video.

Some time after Wade finished the videos.

"Why am I the only one in whom they did not place false memories or completely destroy all my 'treasured childhood' memories….they suck for not doing that." Wade asked the air as he left the compound after burning all the tapes- unknowingly destroying all the memories that the others had lost. Surveying his surroundings, he realized that he was inside some kind of forest. Wade heard a clicking sound and turned quickly, hands flying back to his katanas. What he saw was a large swarm of giant beatles. "I am in trouble ain't I?" Wade asked as he drew his swords before launching himself at the bugs. "For the TACOS….I will slay thee vile horde of…..taco stealing…..vermin, hey I can't use insect since they are already bugs!" Wade shouted his battle cry as he advanced on the swarm.

Wade skillfully destroyed all the bugs, then he then looked around at the carnage before realizing something. "You know….I could have just used my guns….."

V1 decided to comment. "True but the swords are a lot cooler….and reusable."

Wade thought about that for a moment. "Yeah, I never knew that swords are environmentally friendly."

V2 decided he had enough of this silly conversation. "Look, you're both idiots so why don't we decided which way to go."

" I got it! Why not just pick a direction and wander that way?" Wade asked aloud as he pointed off in some random direction and started off swaggering like a jumped-up pimp.

"This is a bad idea, I just know it." V1 moaned.

"Oh come on! This will be fun…now all together now… SING!…..On the road again. I can't wait to get on the road again." Wade started to sing as he wandered off unknowing in the opposite direction of Konoha.

Several days of non-stop walking later…

"Oh… on the road again I can't wait…..DAMN WHY THE HELL DOES THE ROAD HAVE TO BE SO LONG?" Wade had finally gotten tired of singing and walking- after all, he had not stopped for at least two, or was that three, days.

"What did you say….my ear drum blew out after the first day." V1 asked caustically.

"Wait, you mean I could have just blown out my ear drum instead of listening to his SINGING!" V2 shouted in sudden anger.

"Hey my singing is that of the song birds." Wade stated in complete denial.

"Yeah," V2 sniped. "A songbird that is full of buckshot!" He used as much sarcasm as he could incorporate.

Wade saw what looked like a badly made bar out a little ways. "Hey guys, that place looks like we would be able to get a good job and maybe some nachos." Wade spoke as he started to make his way to the building. The building itself looked like it was concrete. It had numerous cracks and what appeared to be dried blood stains in the walls. The roof was made out of thick wood with visible signs of a rat infestation. It appeared as though it had burned down, then partially rebuilt and then burned down again. Regardless, though. The rats seemed to be a constant.

The one window that was on the left side of the door was boarded up with rough wooden planks hammered haphazardly over the hole. Two men loitered n front of the door. One was big and muscular, he wore a white helmet that fit closely on his head were his hair would be that had upside-down letters spelling out "Knuckle" written on the back. The man had on a pair of black jeans and boots. The other man was a chubby fellow. He was still tall, but not as much as the man next to him. He wore a black domino mask, along with a black shirt, green pants, and black combat boots.

"Hello there." Wade called out jovially, "I was wondering, do I need an ID to get into this fine establishment?" Wade smiled hugely as he stopped in front of the two men.

"No, but you need to be a real Merc- not just some kid playing dress up." The first man growled while taking a threatening step forward.

Wade was not intimidated as his left hand reached behind his back for his 9mm. "Well then there is no problem sir, for you see I am Deadpool…the Merc with a Mouth….also you might want to check out your big toe." Wade nodded as the man looked confused.

"Why would I need to check my big toe?" the man asked

"Well your left foot does not have one…anymore." Wade said as he whipped out his 9mm pistol and pulled the trigger, blowing off the man's right big toe. "Oops! My bad…I meant to blow off your left toe." Wade tried to sound apologetic as the man was holding his bleeding right foot while he rolled around on the ground in pain, shouting bloody murder.

"What the hell is going on here? You know the rules! No fighting in the HellHouse." a man of short stature yelled angrily as he came through the door of the building. He had a long, wide white mustache with equally long eyebrows. His head was completely shaved.

"Patch, this kid just blow off the rookie's toe." The large man said while pointing at Deadpool.

Patch glared at Wade a moment before speaking "Tell me why you blow off my employee's toe?" it was more of a order then a question.

Wade seemed to think for a moment before he stood up straight and his right hand flew into a military salute. "Sir! Yes Sir, you 'Time Bandit Stand-In', I wanted to go in Sir" Wade paused and continued in a more normal tone, "By the way, is that vein in your neck supposed to be pulsing like that?" Wade hated the fact that he could not control or regulate what came out of his mouth.

They stared at one another for a long moment, then "Fine, you two-bit punk. Let's get you a contract." Patch said as he let Wade into the HellHouse. "I have a feeling that I will be getting a headache soon from all this." Patch thought as he turned to the fat guard. "CF, I want you to take the Rookie to the nearest of our kind of hospital…while I deal with are newest member of our little…Club" Patch told the large man he entered his Merc assailment base.

"Oh goody!" Wade shouted, "Do I get a club hat or maybe ad official club…PIN!" as he followed Patch into the HellHouse.

That's it for now. I hope you guys enjoy it. I had fun rewriting it. Please review as I always am looking for feedback.

(1) video cameras do exist, but with ninjas they are hardly used.

(2) Deadpool's costume


	2. Chapter 2

All was quiet in the HellHouse. It had been weeks on end without Wade (or as everyone calls him- Pool). Patch blamed all the noise on one person- Deadpool of course. He did like the damn motor mouth of a Merc, but he could only take so much. He had to get Wade off his hands, but still be able to get work for him as he had become one of the premiere Mercs he had to offer. First though, Patch knew he had to get Wade out of here with a job, and the Merc with a Mouth usually came in when he ran dry of taco money. Patch just did not understand how such a powerful Merc could have such an obsession…oh wait, it's Deadpool. Of course he would be weird.

"PATCH!" came a loud voice from the other side of his office door. "MY TACO MONEY IS DRY. I NEED A JOB NOW!" Patch recognized Wade's voice (and volume)…he knew that his peace and quiet was already dead or dying….

"Quit ya yapping for a moment while I look in my files…you know, I know you can't be quiet so why don't you go turn on the TV. I heard there is a documentary about B. Arthur." As soon as B. Arthur's name was mentioned, Deadpool seemed to teleport to the TV, then beat up three lower level Mercs and used their unconscious bodies as a foot rest while he watched the documentary.

Wade hated B. Arthur…but he could not stop watching it or buying anything with B. Arthur on it. Hell, the only thing Wade truly enjoyed was the fact that he could shut up when watching it for some reason. Wade truly enjoyed the silence, but he could never stop talking on his own to enjoy it. In fact, he had stopped trying to a while back. He knew he said random stuff and talked non-stop, but he just blocked out what he was saying for most of the time. He also knew that he was slowly merging with his new self. Soon his sane side and his insane side would become one. "I hate taking on this kind of job, but I really needed some tacos… NO, Cash! Yeah, that's it…and tacos." Wade thought to himself.

Patch was having a lot of trouble finding a job for Wade as most would only take him a few minutes where a normal Mercs would take at least a day or two on the job. Patch would need at least three to find a person that he could contact Deadpool for jobs without Deadpool actually being in the HellHouse. Patch had one option remaining…make up a job. He hated it because he had to pay the checks. "Hmmm…I found one Wade!" Patch called out convincingly, only to duck as he heard a gunshot.

"NOT NOW!" Wade yelled from the TV room. "TELL ME LATER AS IN AFTER THE B. ARTHUR DOCUMENTARY." Wade then pressed the resume button on the remote and continued to watch.

Sometime after the show Wade walked over to Patch and stopped right in front of the man's desk. "Okay I am ready for that job now…and some tacos if you have any." Wade spoke in a childish voice that irritated Patch to no end.

"Look here, you two-bit punk! I give jobs to who I want- not what they want." Patch went into scolding mode as several of the Mercs named it.

"Ohha…gimme." Wade spoke in a whiny child kind of voice that seemed to caused Patch to get a little more cross.

"I have half a mind not to give it to you." Patch said in a tone that was normally reserved for Wade's really stupid stuff.

"But you love me Patch, you truly love me…" Wade wheedled, then spoke in a more normal tone. "Now that that is over, gimme." Wade for the first part leaned in uncomfortably close to Patch, their face/masks were only a few inches apart.

"Aright you!" Patch bit out crossly. "Here is the job. I want you to go to mist and find an apprentice with a bloodline…all swordsmen are doing it lately and I will buy you…tacos." The last part was kind of embarrassing but, he knew that Wade would go to hell itself for a taco.

"NO WAY IN HEL…." Wade began at full volume, then did an about face and continued in a desperate voice "Did you just say tacos?" Wade leaned over the desk again. He had to know if this job paid in tacos. Patch nodded. "HELL, YEAH! I AM SO IN!" Wade shouted as he grabbed his gear and ran out the door.

Some time later…

Wade was standing in the middle of a blizzard a few miles out of the hidden mist village in his skin tight outfit. "Stupid Patch! How could he order me on such a miserable mission. I mean I haven't done anything wrong, have I?" Wade looked indecently innocent before speaking "Of course not! You're a friendly neighborhood mercenary!"

Wade was muttering more obscenities as his walk though the mist was becoming colder and colder. Wade officially hated this assignments… stupid tacos…

Voice 1 shouted out in disbelief. "Woo Woo, man back up! I hate the cold too, but to say that about the almighty taco is heresy…." there was a pause, then the voice continued "which sounds like some kind of hot chick."

Voice 2 let out a sigh. "I am stuck with two idiots….but I agree that saying anything bad about the enlightened taco is a crime."

Wade looked up at moment, a grin splitting his face. "Forgive me, mighty one for I have commented a heresy!….not the hot chick kind…for my sins I must punish myself by committing hari-kari." Wade took out one of his swords and plunged it into his stomach.

Hidan was looking for someone to kill in the name of his god when he spotted some idiot in red and black skin tight clothing standing on a bridge in the middle of winter's blizzard. "Idiots like that deserve to die….he will make the perfect sacrifice." Hidan drew closer, only to hear the man start to go on about committing a heresy and asking for forgiveness. "Puff fool" Hidan thought. "Only a fool follows fake gods, unlike mine." Hidan stopped abruptly when he saw the man pull out a sword and….stab himself in the stomach?

"Damn, I guess I will have to find another sacrifice…." he frowned. "What the…" Hidan was cut off as the man simply stood up and removed the blade from his stomach. "Another follower of Jashin…" he exclaimed. "Oh forgive me, Jashin-Sama I failed to recognize another follower!" Hidan said the last part out loud as he began to make his way towards Wade…

"Hello fellow follower of true belief…" he began when we drew close enough to speak. "May I ask your name?" Wade turned to a man with silver hair wearing a black cloak and red clouds. He also had on a strange hat.

"Finally, another follower of great tacos." Wade thought to himself. Out loud, he spoke "Well my name is Wade Wilson, but you can call me Little Wade, Little Wilson, Big Red Wade, Dead Hand Wilson, Crimson Nutcase…." Wade continued on naming different variations of his name/nicknames.

"By Jashin-Sama!" thought Hidan. "I must be talking to a grand master that has given his mind and body to Jashin-Sama…What an Honor." Hidan smiled to himself as he listened to the rant.

Wade broke into his own name rant. "By the way, I am looking for a child with any bloodline to take as an apprentice since normal ones are so boring." Wade smiled gamely at his fellow 'taco' lover to see if he knew where one was.

Hidan was taken back a moment before he realized something. "The 'Grand Master' must have had so many apprentices that he is looking for someone better…I shall help him find an apprentice." Hidan thought as he prepared to speak to the 'Grand Master'. "I will help you find one if you give me your options. "Should the red dawn rise?"

Wade thought of the new Red Dawn taco restaurant…Their tacos nearly made him convert to a normal diet or in other words they're horrible. "It sounds good at first, but don't be fooled" he postulated. "It is the Ultimate Heresy, worse then betraying our Lord." Wade said, nodding to himself as he reminded himself that there is only one great taco joint and that is 'The Lord's Taco Bar'

Hidan's eyes went wide in disbelief. He was on the path of the Ultimate Heresy! Hidan almost adamantly makes plans on how to stop his X-group. "Here, this map should lead you to some orphaned bloodline children for you to pick an apprentice, Wade…I have a Heresy to stop." Hidan said while looking like an action hero from a movie.

"WOW, thanks! Oh, good luck dealing with the heresy." Wade said as he took the map and went off to find his apprentice. "It's so nice to meet another follower of tacos." Wade said, but Hidan did not hear him as Wade was several feet away by that time.

There is chapter two….Please Review!


	3. Chapter 3

Wade was beginning to think that his fellow follower of tacos had lied to him as he had yet to find an apprentice. Shaking his head, he frowned. "That can't be," he thought, "as those of the Taco's can't lie to another follower could they?" he paused. "Voices, I think I just had an epiphany!" Wade said aloud as he held up one forearm with his pointer figure up.

"Really, what's great ? So when is the baby due? And how the Hell did you score a chick with-OUT US KNOWING?" Voice 1 shouted in his head. "I MEAN WE HAVE TO BE WITH YOU 24-7 THE LEAST YOU COULD DO IS LET US WATCH!"

"Dude, that is not what an epiphany means…it is a type of French dog." Voice 2 injected.

"You're both wrong, it means that I realized something!…By the way, what is French?" Wade shouted aloud, scaring several birds away. "OH and Voice 1 why are you such a perv?"

"What did you realize?" Voice 2 asked in a calmer voice.

"And French means fancy…and the reason why is that you hooked me up next to your hormones." Voice 1 said, which made Wade think.

"Okay Voice 2, first I realized that this sucks!…And thanks Voice 1, the fact that I knew what it means makes me feel all Frenchy!" Wade proclaimed throwing his arms wide while spinning…well before his shoulders sagged. "I need an apprentice. Someone I could train so I can have companionship…and more importantly, my taco money." Wade looked up at the sky and got on his knees. "Kami, I know I did not do everything good…that I am greedy and find it fun to shove meat down vegetation's mouths…but can you overlook that as I am awesome…" Wade begin before he was interrupted by Voice 1.

"What are you doing?"

"Shut up! Can't you see I am asking a higher, but not as awesome, power for something?" Wade said as he heard Voice 1 give a weak apology. "Now, where was I…Oh yeah, if you grant me an apprentice then I will quit looking at naughty mags for a day…no, wait, a half a day…you know, better make it a quarter of a day." Wade smiled at the HUGE sacrifice that he was making. He was still smiling when out of nowhere, a boy about his age fell right in front of him…making Wade stare at the boy, then to the clouds above, then back to the boy, and finally back to the clouds. "Thank you.…you know I could use several bikini-clad hot blind ladies to help me stay on the right path…." Wade's felt that an answer was given when it started to rain…hard. "…Get my hopes up, will you…" Wade said bitterly as he picked up the young boy and started to a hide-out he had set up at the author's advise. "THANK YOU WRITER'S CONNIVANCE!" Wade seemed to yell out at random.

Wade looked down at the boy and noticed that he had several twigs and branches stuck in his clothes, so he probably was a ninja or was being carried by a ninja. Also considering that ninja's can somehow use their chakra to jump from tree to tree without all the mess, he was guessing he was carried…that meant that it was not an act of the divine. "Naughty mags here I come!" Wade shouted as he took off for his secret stash.

The boy's eyes slowly fluttered open and he was first greeted with the sight of a ceiling…with a picture of some girl in a bikini two sizes too small. "OH SHIT! THE MIST NINJA MUST HAVE CAPTURED ME!" The boy thought before the mantra "I'm So Dead" repeated over and over in his head. The boy looked over and saw the door leading to the outside was still open…that meant that he could escape. "Wait, what if he wants me to go though there and die in a trap…or maybe he wants me to over-think it and ignore it…then again, he could have known that I would think that and rigged it…OR…" The boy went though many different scenarios and still couldn't figure out if it was a trap or not.

"Lucy, I'm ho-ome!" Wade shouted as he threw open the door to the kitchen, wearing his costume with a French maid outfit over it. "Oh, you're awake!" Wade walked over to the boy.

Now if the boy was scared before, he was terrified now. Apparently the mist ninja that had captured him had given him to some freak wearing a costume and a MAID OUTFIT that was clearly for GIRLS. "W-what do you want with me?" The boy asked, dreading the answer.

"Well I am getting BIG TACO MONEY for taking care of you and finding out how you can help me!" Wade said as he pulled of the maid outfit and sat down next to the terrified kid…who was actually just a few years younger then Wade.

After Wade's quick explanation about the divine that wasn't and the sky, the kid just blinked a few times, not knowing what to say. "SO…Kid, got any mad skills? I should know about?" Wade asked as he wanted to know if the kid could do…well anything. Also, he started to lean in real close.

"I am good with…the new tech that is coming out." the kid said as he then noticed Wade's masked eyes had taken a completely serious look.

"Can you fix my computer?" Wade said in a deadly serious voice that commanded fear and respect. Of course the kid was quite frankly frozen in fright. "Kid! Tell me if you can fix my computer!" Wade this time demanded in a near yell.

"…Yes…" the boy answered in a meek voice as his body trembled.

"THEN YOU'RE MY BFF, NOW GIVE YOUR BFF A HUG!" Wade shouted in an extremely high-pitched voice as he gave the kid a massive bear hug. After a few awkward moments, Wade, while still embracing the kid, spoke. "Don't worry Weasel, that is just a gun…" Wade broke off the hug before he started speaking again. "OH hope you don't mind, but I name thee Weasel…and forgot to ask what your blood line is!"

"Well…I can see thirty seconds into the future…using extreme continuation." Weasel replied shakily as he looked at Deadpool.

"That's kind of useless in the long run isn't it?" Wade replied, thinking about that as it really did not help much mid-battle, or even before battle.

"Yeah…" Was Weasel's only reply. He frowned up at Wade, as unknowing to either of the duo, this was the beginning of a long friendship.

Well another chapter done and over with. Short, but this is just a set-up chapter. Please review.


	4. Chapter 4

"NO, I WILL NOT BE FORGOTTEN!" Wade yelled out for no apparent reason. "NO REASON YOU LEFT THIS FAN FICTION FOR DEAD AND WHAT'D SEVERAL MONTHS TO UPDATE YOU #^%!" Wade continued to yell around his hidden base.

During this yelling young Weasel quietly came walking into the room. "uh…Wade it has only been fifteen minutes seines you brought me here." Weasel did admit that this was a lot better then being hunted by mist ninja.

Ordinal it had taken Weasel time to calmed down quite a bit before he fixed Deadpool's computer. The fix was acutely easy to do as all he had to do was download a virus scanner and run it to get rid of all Deadpool's 'adult' web pages, Weasel begin to start thinking about his future as he now had a 'job' of sorts as the DP teach guy and best part was that he did not even have to pay for anything as Deadpool's house witch he stole the deed from a now homeless dude in wave named Gato. It was at that moment that he decide that he would help Deadpool as he most likely saved him from death or worse. "Hey Do you think you can get some of the gun semantics from Stark?" Weasel asked as he struck a thinking pose "I could reverse engineer them and make custom guns for you and then you could sell the blueprints."

"SURE! We have gone quite a while with out me shooting anything...or chimichanga." Wade agreed though his 'sane' side know this would be trouble, however a chance to show up that stuck-up rich boy…oh yeah he was so going for it.

Meanwhile in the hall of doom…sorry wrong story meant Stark tower.

"I told you dad I am not changing my name back." Tony Stark said, now though whom just turned in Tony stark is the one that invented guns disowned his clan and left Konoha with nothing but a troublesome remark. Normal Tony would be out partying or inventing, but now he is agreeing with his father over his leave of Konoha…though nether could see the figure watching them from several roof types away.

"War Journal August something or another: been five days tracking the target…no taco breaks either…one of homeless guy dues not count….been Observing target Iron….no idea why I used iron as codename for target….doest matter, going to get me some Guns!" Wade rambled on and on to a tape recorder with a small white skull on it, that he picked pocketed from some guy with a skull on his shirt…oh well nothing bad will happen because of it. Just then the room where Tony Stark and his father are explode…"Okay Did not see that coming." Wade admitted before he looked around and saw some guy running away wearing a hooded cape…well from what he could see.

Deadpool jumped off his vantage point and landed gracefully on a lower building before rushing off to intercept the hooded man. Deadpool begin to leap across buildings, the only reason why this was effective was that any damage he had done to his legs healed instantly. He was finally nearing the spot where he had planed to encounter his new target.

"Kill or injury Tony Stark and steal his gun plans…easiest money yet." The hooded figure said to himself then a loud bang ripped though the air then a second shot was fired hitting right were the hooded man's face would have been if he had taken one more step.

"Wow…you are really luck most mercs would have taken off running." The hooded man turned to where the deep knurled voice was coming from. There one the roof tope right above him and to the right was a boy his age wearing a red and black costume, the boy was laying in a prone position with his right hand on the trigger of a sniper rifle that was smoking from it's barrel and in his left hand was a pistol pointed right up in the air. "Most Mooks I knew would try to run when they heard the shot like…Big Bertha in the buff was after there peewees…" The man seemed to rambled till he reached the part about the sniper getting them. The hooded man now understood if he had run when the first shot from the pistol was fired he would have had a hole in his head from the sniper rifle. "So…before we feisty cuff another, who are you?"

"The name is Taskmaster, now who are you?" the now named Taskmaster asked as he looked up showing a face covered in a white ski mask.

"DEADPOOL, SIR IS MY NAME, SIR!" Deadpool stood up and give a military salute and showing that he was so well armed that he could fight a war by himself. "okay…you know that white ski mask is dumb…you'll never get jobs with that stupid mask…I mean I have never even heard of you, so how are you putting taco's and ramen on the table…or in my case on my limited addition Bea Arthur table and chair set." Deadpool said as he struck a thinking pose.

"It's not about the money, all I want is to see more fighting styles and have my revenge." Taskmaster stated as his voice took a creepy edge to it.

"Okay…then what? Perecnaly I see you going into late night TV talk show host…DON'T YOU STEAL B ARTHUR FROM BE!" Deadpool talked and then shouted in a high pitched voice at task master.

"why are we in this idiot again?" Deadpool heard a Voice 1 from nowhere say.

"VOICE 1 HOW I HAVE MISSED YOU!" Deadpool shouted now ignoring the highly confused Taskmaster. "But, where is voice 2.…don't tell me he found a new head!?"

"Still here unfourtnely." Voice 2 said in a dull and disappointed voice.

"YEA-HAW ALL THE VOICES ARE BACK IN MY HEAD!" Deadpool shouted after talking to himself causing Taskmaster to do little more then stare in shock at the obviously insane man.

"So Taskey, after you're revenge then what?" Deadpool asked in a seemingly serious tone. "I mean there are only to ways to retire in this business, one is that old merc's home where they server applesauce with small caliber rounds or the second more likely way is a serving of dead with six feet of dirt on the side."

….Cliff hanger…."NO I will not allow it we at lest need a good fight sign…" Yelled Deadpool…."Okay thanks author guy" As this was happening Taskmaster drew his sword and rushed at Deadpool with murderous intent. Ducking under the First swing Deadpool draws his own swords "So what are you're powers MC Skulley-Face?" Deadpool questioned while avoiding a cut throat by leaning back, simultaneously lashing out with a strong kick to Taskmasters midsection.

"I can copy any fighting style I see and use it as effective as the originator that I copied from." Taskmaster replied as he tossed a shield he had hidden behind his cape at Deadpool missing by a foot above Deadpool's head.

"HA, You missed!" Deadpool taunted till he heard a sound coming from behind him. Turning around Deadpool mask's eyes seems to have widen around the eyes as the shield slammed into his face from being rebounded off the wall… then all was black.

Taskmaster walked over to his fallen adversary and picked up his shield before he heard murmurs coming form his downed foe. "Please mommy I don't…school….stupid author…shield…" Where all Taskmaster was able to make out off the man's babbling.

Sorry for the shortness, but I would like some help generating ideas…"HEY MAYBE WE CAN HELP" Shouted Voice 1.…NO THAT'S FINALLY NO HELP FROM CHARACTERS IN THE STORY1


End file.
